return from lanling

[shangba]

A full moon, unblinking.

You did not sleep, to see?

Comments

[emperorssmile]

No, it’s not necessary unless it’s something you’d like.

I don’t need a nude portrait of you, either. I just wanted an excuse to look at you naked for a while.

[shangba]

One portrait of you.

May I be present?

[emperorssmile]

You really want one? Of course, you can be there.

Does that mean I can have one of you, too?

[shangba]

It pains me to refuse.

But if a portrait of a nude son of the main house ever falls in public hands, the shame would not be mine alone.

[emperorssmile]

Lan Zhan, you really don’t have to do it.

I can worship your body with actions instead of possessions.

[shangba]

I do not wish you to believe I deny only to deny.

As Sizhui considers.

[emperorssmile]

I get it. Even if you just didn’t want to do it, that’s fine too. I love you and your body and I’m lucky I get to experience it so much.

[shangba]

Of the second portrait.

May I make a request?

[emperorssmile]

Is it that you want it to be tasteful?

[shangba]

It will be. My husband knows my taste already.

I wish his hair half-down, half low-bound.

[emperorssmile]

You’ll be there with me, so you can have full access to how you want me to look. It’s for you.

[shangba]

Thank you.

It is as you wore it, before.

[emperorssmile]

I remember.

Would you like me to style it like that sometimes or just for the portrait?

[shangba]

Only as you wish.

[emperorssmile]

I mostly wore it that way because it was easy.

Did you like I how looked back then?

[shangba]

Flattery chaser.

Of course.

[emperorssmile]

Even at my worst, you still loved me.

I wasn’t in the best state of mind back then. Didn’t have a lot of food, either. And baths were a luxury we just didn’t have.

[shangba]

( A wait later, in Lan Wangji's finer calligraphy: the clear signs of effort. )


Wei Ying. If wanted,I would have made love to you in dirt and among corpses.

Your tatters, our bedding. Your stabbing bones, mine to cushion. Your restlessness, my hunger.

I loved your mind, but also craved your body. You were desirable.

Are desirable.

[emperorssmile]

And all that time, I thought you were like the rest of the world and hated me for what I’d done. What I had become.

You love me so much.

[shangba]

Important that you do not misunderstand: you are the most attractive to me.

[emperorssmile]

Me, currently?

I was wondering if you’d think it worthwhile to find a way to look more like my original body.

[shangba]

As you were. As you are.

If you wish your likeness returned, it will be done. But not for me.

[emperorssmile]

I don’t need it.

Thank you, Lan Zhan.

If only I’d known your feelings about me back then. We could have had a more intimate meeting in Yiling.

[shangba]

Betrothed, even then.

Bedding would not have dishonoured you.

[emperorssmile]

In another life.

I’m happy we have this one. It hasn’t always been perfect, but I’m pleased with things how they are.