return from lanling

[shangba]

A full moon, unblinking.

You did not sleep, to see?

Comments

[emperorssmile]

If it’s something you’d like me to work on, go for it.

Sleeping together should be something we both enjoy. If I’m doing something you don’t like, how will I ever know if you don’t tell me? You’d want me to tell you if I don’t like something.

[shangba]

I do not like when you treat me as if I require coaxing.

[emperorssmile]

Okay, that’s fair.

You’re an adult and you can tell me when something bothers you. I’ll stop being pushy about it.

[shangba]

I would prefer if my husband spoke his mind and interests freely, sooner than asked coyly for permission like a servant at my door.

[emperorssmile]

That’s something I can work on.

I’m still getting used to your love, Lan Zhan. It’s so much more permissive than I assumed love could be. And I’m still getting used to the idea that I can be loved for who I am instead of who I should be.

I trust you to stay with me forever, so it’s not that I’m worried I’ll lose you. I’m just worried that I’ll hurt you over and over again without realizing it.

[shangba]

Inquire again. Properly.

[emperorssmile]

Are you happy with our love life?

Do you have any fantasies you’d like to explore together?

Do we do anything you dislike?

[shangba]

I am happy. We do nothing I dislike.

At times, I wish for Wei Ying to use my mouth, for all it yet learns. At others, to take him in the gardens, or by the cold river bank. At others, to enjoy him a night full, between hands, mouths, jade and my body, until Wei Ying is no longer restless.

Is this suitable?

[emperorssmile]

We haven’t messed around on the river bank yet. We should do it next time we have some decently warm weather.

The best way to train that mouth of yours is to use it. Tonight?

Thanks, Lan Zhan. This is very informative.

[shangba]

Know it is not... the adventure Wei Ying requires.

[emperorssmile]

I don’t mind. It still feels good even if it’s not to completion.

[shangba]

No. My notions. Not as... extraordinary as Wei Ying's.

[emperorssmile]

Oh! That’s fine, too, Lan Zhan. I’m surprised you’re interested in messing around near the river. I figured you were too shy to do something like that when anyone could come across us.

[shangba]

I know the untravelled hours.

[emperorssmile]

Sounds like fun. We probably won’t get caught, but it’s still exciting because there’s a tiny chance of it.

Talking about this just makes me want you now. I’m no good at being patient.

[shangba]

Am I sufficient for Wei Ying? At times, believe not.

[emperorssmile]

In bed or in general?

You always leave me satisfied. I like to try new things and you give me the space to do so. I’m not going to bully you into doing anything you don’t want to do, but I’ll tell you when there’s something I want to try.

I’m happy with you out of bed, too. I’m happier than I can remember ever being before. You make me feel like I’m cherished and I hope I can do the same for you.

[shangba]

Yet I am a product of rules Wei Ying detests.

Narrow-minded. Unadventurous. Limited.

[emperorssmile]

Not to mention stubborn! I’ve always known all that and I want to be with you, anyway.

You may have been shaped by the Lan doctrines, but you’re not just a list of rules. You think for yourself. You have your own values and moral compass. You’re more adventurous than you give yourself credit for.

You’re mine and I’m yours. You don’t stifle me.

[shangba]

I feel out of place.

[emperorssmile]

Out of place with me? With Cloud Recesses? Or something else?

[shangba]

Discordant, alongside Wei Ying.

Enough, for now, to settle. But Wei Ying's wings spread.

[emperorssmile]

We don’t have to become the same person. It’s okay if you’re more reserved than me and it’s okay if I get restless sometimes. You’re worth being with despite our differences.

[shangba]

And when you bore?

[emperorssmile]

Then I’ll whine about it until we think of something to entertain me.