(no subject)

[shangba]

Pledge you do not sleep in the vanquished cave.

Comments

[emperorssmile]

Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know why I get like this.

I’ll try to do better.

[shangba]

Do you think less of me, for my changes?

[emperorssmile]

Not at all! I love you just the way you are.

And you love me despite all my changes.

[shangba]

Some, I prefer.

You are kinder to me now. More patient.

I enjoy carrying you. Your new body permits.

[emperorssmile]

Thanks, Lan Zhan. I get under my own skin sometimes and forget all the good things.

I like you now, too. You always loved me but I didn’t realize it back then.

[shangba]

Some change, inevitable.

[emperorssmile]

Some changes are more extreme than others and I have to remind myself that that’s okay.

Will you forgive me for being jealous of myself again?

[shangba]

I only wish to stop it.

[emperorssmile]

That’s on me. I’m the one that keeps going back on my word.

Just be patient with me and I’ll keep trying.

[shangba]

Am I not?

[emperorssmile]

You’re the most patient man I know. But you still accused me of punishing you.

[shangba]

But I remain here.

[emperorssmile]

I’m still here, too.

[shangba]

I love you. I do.

[emperorssmile]

I know you do. I love you too, Lan Zhan.

I’ll still work on those other pictures for you.

[shangba]

Perhaps best to discard them.

[emperorssmile]

I’ll forget my own face I don’t work on them soon.

[shangba]

You are suffering.

[emperorssmile]

You gave me your reassurances.

If it makes my heart ache, I’ll stop.

[shangba]

I worry you will not.

[emperorssmile]

Trust goes two ways. I promise I’ll stop if it hurts.

I’m not going to work on it until tomorrow night, though.

[shangba]

You speak as if I worry for naught.

[emperorssmile]

I know I have a bad habit of pushing myself through pain. I’m promising not to do that.

[shangba]

All right.

[emperorssmile]

I want to share that part of me too, but not if it means breaking a promise I made to you.

I know I lie a lot, but I’m trying not to lie when it’s between us.