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[shangba]

Pledge you do not sleep in the vanquished cave.

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[shangba]

I only wish to stop it.

[emperorssmile]

That’s on me. I’m the one that keeps going back on my word.

Just be patient with me and I’ll keep trying.

[shangba]

Am I not?

[emperorssmile]

You’re the most patient man I know. But you still accused me of punishing you.

[shangba]

But I remain here.

[emperorssmile]

I’m still here, too.

[shangba]

I love you. I do.

[emperorssmile]

I know you do. I love you too, Lan Zhan.

I’ll still work on those other pictures for you.

[shangba]

Perhaps best to discard them.

[emperorssmile]

I’ll forget my own face I don’t work on them soon.

[shangba]

You are suffering.

[emperorssmile]

You gave me your reassurances.

If it makes my heart ache, I’ll stop.

[shangba]

I worry you will not.

[emperorssmile]

Trust goes two ways. I promise I’ll stop if it hurts.

I’m not going to work on it until tomorrow night, though.

[shangba]

You speak as if I worry for naught.

[emperorssmile]

I know I have a bad habit of pushing myself through pain. I’m promising not to do that.

[shangba]

All right.

[emperorssmile]

I want to share that part of me too, but not if it means breaking a promise I made to you.

I know I lie a lot, but I’m trying not to lie when it’s between us.

[shangba]

We ever speak of attempts.

[emperorssmile]

Yeah. Sometimes it feels like the only promise I can really keep is to be true to myself.

[shangba]

When will this change?

[emperorssmile]

When I learn some discipline, I guess.

I guess I make it hard to trust me.

[shangba]

At times, tiring.

[emperorssmile]

I really do try to be better.

[shangba]

I know.