wuding | (no subject)

...a talisman to infuse my qi?

Lan Zhan, I love you so much.

I think this whole thing is just something I have to figure out how to fix. Maybe instead of trying to suppress and avoid everything I don’t want to think about, I should treat it like any other problem and find a solution.

It’s just a matter of pushing past the discomfort so I can stay objective.

How may I assist you?

Maybe… if you’re there with me while I work on it, I’ll be able to do it.

If I’m on my own, I might just make excuses to avoid it.

Shall we speak of your discomfort more, as it happens?

Maybe? I guess what we’ve been doing hasn’t been working, so maybe doing something different is a good start.

Are you sure you want to see that part of me?

Cannot hide from my husband.

If you don’t want to see me like that, I can try to work on it next time I have a chance. There’s no point in both of us being miserable.

Edited (Misread) 2024-05-18 17:08 (UTC)

No. Together.

You’re sure?

I trust you, Lan Zhan. With my body, my heart, and my soul. I wouldn’t be exaggerating to say you’re the only one I’d ever consider doing this with.

I only ask... if it hurts, tell me.

I will, promise.

Let’s start soon but not tonight. I want to let loose and enjoy our archery date.

May I hold you, tonight?

Yeah! I’d like that. Thanks, Lan Zhan. You’re the best husband.

I... do not feel so.

Well, I say you are.

Why don’t you feel like you are?

My husband ached, and I unknowing.

Oh Lan Zhan, that’s because I never told you about it. It’s not like you can read my mind.

I love you. I love you, but I cannot know you. Even now.

Because I’m not open about everything..?

And because I have learned to sing your body to pleasure, but still fail to know your heart's tells.

I’ll be better about being open with you even when it’s something I’m embarrassed or anxious about, Lan Zhan. I haven’t been treating you with the trust you deserve.

Fault is not your own alone.

It’s not all on you, either. So… agree that it’s both of us?

Agreed.