wuding | (no subject)

(no subject)

( Midday, past lunch observed with Xichen: )

How fared the children this morning?

It’s not all on you, either. So… agree that it’s both of us?

Agreed.

Maybe thinking of it as a way to be closer to Lan Zhan will help me face everything.

But closeness to me has only deepened your hardships.

How do you figure?

Being close to you fills me with so much joy, Lan Zhan. Sure, we argue sometimes, but what couple doesn’t?

You said having me close has only made it harder when we part.

I didn’t mean it like that. I feel the best when we’re close. It’s the parting that’s the problem.

It would hurt when we part even if we weren’t as close when we’re together.

...shall I consult the library?

What would you look for? How to help your husband face his past? Would there be books about that sort of thing?

I don't know.

But half of my soul hurts, and my sword and guqin are futile.

It couldn’t hurt to look. Maybe if you don’t have anything else going on, you can see if someone’s written about something like this. It will still be a little while before I get home.

We’ll overcome this together. I’m going to need you to be strong for me, because sometimes I might not be able to.

...understood.

I don’t really know what to expect. I never really try to focus on the painful stuff.

We shall form a meditation. Learn the steps.

Meditation, huh? I knew it would include meditation, but I didn’t want to say it.

Whenever I try to avoid it for too long, get pushy and make me.

We shall prevail.

Come home, now.

I’d have to stop talking with you if I want to ride faster.

Which I could do! I’m messed up but not that bad.

...not messed up. Do not speak of yourself so.

What should I call it, then?

Haunted?

...I do not know.

Wei Ying. It is your way to make light of trouble, to diminish it.

But this has startled me. Let us jest of it tomorrow. Today, allow me to digest.

Oh, right. I can take it seriously, too.

So, does that mean you want me to focus on riding so I get home sooner?

I would like to hold you.

You feel too distant.

I want to be held by you and to hold you back. So instead of half a shichen, I could make it in a little under half that time if I stop writing.

It would be more convenient if I could just speak and it get to you.

A new talisman for Wei Ying to consider.

Come home. No duel.

We can reschedule the duel. No archery, too? That’ll give me time to get fitted for a longbow.

Sorry, sorry, I’ll come home now. Don’t worry when I don’t respond next time you write!

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shangba - 2024-05-18 22:24 (UTC) - Expand

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emperorssmile - 2024-05-18 22:47 (UTC) - Expand

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