wuding | Date in Lotus Pier

[He flinches when he sees the way Lan Zhan goes rigid at the mention of Jin Ling. He really should have known better than to bring him up, but family is profoundly important to him. It hurts that he can’t see his nephew as often as he’d like, but in the end he will always choose Lan Zhan.

He shakes his head again and pokes at his food. A part of him is irritated, but mostly he just feels defeated. This is an argument they’ve already had more than once.]

Alone, huh?

[No longer feeling very hungry, he sets the bowl down on the ground between them. Lan Zhan can finish it if he wants it or he’ll dispose of it somewhere when they leave his special place. Instead, he reaches for the wine again.]

I won’t make you come with me. I’m not happy about the idea of going alone, but if that’s the only way I can see my nephew, then it’ll have to be enough.

( It will have to be enough. Just as Lan Wangji's resignation to a husband perpetually divided between two loyalties must also suffice. They are not better creatures, not devoid of their stubbornness and pride.

Lan Wangji showcases his now, pointedly ignoring his husband's surrendered bowl, pretending his obliviousness will encourage Wei Ying to resume his meal. It won't. The halt is a message, a dent in Wangji's armor. They both know the vulnerability that Wei Ying's unmet appetite stirs within him.

He covers the distance only to pointedly have his fill of mouthfuls of water slipped into his cup from a transport jar. )

Grateful for Wei Ying's understanding. ( Petty, vicious man. )

[There’s an awkward air between them that he doesn’t like but also doesn’t know how to remedy without sacrificing his own happiness. He’s promised Lan Zhan he’d be better about that sort of thing and if that means going through with traveling to Jinlintai alone down the line, then he’ll have to do it. Their love isn’t so fragile that a few weeks per year of separation will damage it. It might even bring them closer, but it still hurts.

He sighs and tosses back a few gulps of wine, then wipes his mouth and chin again. He holds the jar protectively in his lap while he looks around at his special place again. He doesn’t regret bringing Lan Zhan here, but he does regret opening his mouth and talking about visiting Jin Ling.]

Right. I’ll talk to Jin Ling about it when we go back to town.

[Being alone isn’t his preference, but that’s the condition and he’ll make it work. At least he’ll be able to travel more efficiently if he doesn’t have to take as many breaks.]

I guess when you say alone, that includes leaving the kids behind?

( Of course it does. And of course Wei Ying, who appears to silently, awkwardly begrudge him, knows so. But they can't correct a course down which they've avalanched without care or concern already. He cannot force both Wei Ying's conformity and his appreciation.

So he only nods, only invites his understanding. Only holds out his hand as if to signal their current, inevitable division is not an abyssal fracture. They can overcome whatever inconvenience Lan Wangji's stubbornness and Wei Ying's blindness have put before them. Depend on it. )

Let us speak once you have set times for travel.

( Let us postpone the absurdity of that bittersweet prospect. Ah, but he is a coward, through and through. Wei Ying will begrudge him so. )

[He glances down at Lan Zhan’s outstretched hand and thinks about ignoring it or slapping at it. What would Lan Zhan do if he doesn’t accept that offer of touch, he wonders. Would it hurt his feelings? Probably, but can anyone really blame him right now for heartlessly hurting Lan Zhan’s feelings because his own are hurt?

No, he can’t do that to his husband. It would be needlessly cruel and drive more of a rift between them than there already is.

With a sigh, he reaches for Lan Zhan’s hand, but he doesn’t look at his face when he does it. He squeezes that hand and shifts the jar of wine in his lap. And he already feels a little better for the contact.]

I wish you could accept Jin Ling. I don’t expect you to love him or anything, but he’s family. He’s grown up a lot in the last few years. I want to help him keep growing and I can only do that if I see him regularly.

( Some part of him, he thinks, is awed, hurt, withering. Bemused that Wei Ying persists in the face of obvious objections. Lan Wangji has learned to grudgingly tolerate the presence of one man who sought his husband dead already — must he entertain affection for the boy-child who nearly achieved the deed? There are lines, he thinks. There are standards.

And now there is Wei Ying, extorting his cooperation, knowing all too well Lan Wangji cannot afford to refuse him — that this is a rare occasion when he has moved to do so. His lover's comfort has always taken priority. Wei Ying's inevitable, indomitable satisfaction.

He licks his lips once, looks away. Clumsily, rolls his fingers into fists, then uncurls them. He should amount to better than this juvenile uncertainty. )

I did not... deny you the chance to see him with regularity. ( You may go. But they both know the word that stings, Alone. )

[He knows he’s not going to get his way in this and that it would be unfair to keep pushing the issue now that Lan Zhan has reiterated what he’d already offered. Lan Zhan won’t come with him in his visits to Jinlintai, but he also won’t stop him from going on his own. He should just accept it. Even though it feels like Lan Zhan is punishing both of them by insisting on his solitude. Last year he probably would have just skipped traveling altogether. But now? He’ll go through with it.]

Yeah, I know. You can’t blame me for trying, though.

[He pushes the bad feelings down, trying to instead focus on the good things. They’ll argue about this again later but it doesn’t have to ruin today anymore than it’s already done. ]

I’m going to swim.

[He lets go of Lan Zhan’s hand, then lifts the wine to his mouth to finish the jar before setting it down on the ground next to the discarded meal. He lets the invitation to swim with him go unspoken. Lan Zhan can choose whether he wants to come on his own.]

( And just so — Wei Ying deserts him. Perhaps he has earned this, mouth agape, gaze silent. Perhaps his husband wrongs him with unkindness.

Either way, he cannot allow a second time when Wei Ying moves away, and Lan Wangji merely sits back to Watch. Drifting to the edge of the shoreline, he relinquishes his robe, lingering only in one flimsy layer of trousers — an immodesty unseen in Cloud Recesses, incomprehensible even among less frigid cultivation ranks. But they are in a secluded space, and Lan Wangji aches for kernels of the freedom his husband claims rapidly.

He dives in, water yielding to him, the relentless technique of a Gusu Lan swimmer arming him for resilience, if not always speed. Ahead of him, he sees Wei Ying's silhouette and first joins in to swim beside him — then, at one point, inevitably plunges over him, to catch him in open arms, to try to embrace and hold him down. )

[When he hears the sound of Lan Zhan entering the water, he slows down and treads water to let him catch up to him. He’d been hoping that Lan Zhan would follow him into the water, cleansing them both of their bickering until he inevitably brings it up again after speaking with Jin Ling. And maybe he’s thinking outside the box about seeing Jin Ling more often, too. He could always invite him to Cloud Recesses and that would solve the issue of traveling alone, though it would most likely make things worse and he’d only get away with it the first time.

He starts to turn when Lan Zhan comes up next to him, but he doesn’t get a chance to finish the motion before he’s tackled.]

Lan Zhan! What are you —- [His next word gets cut off as his head sinks below the surface. It’s a good thing he grew up around disciples who liked to fool around as much as he did and this isn’t the first time he’s been dunked underwater by someone. And he’s back above the surface in record time.] — Don’t drown me, Lan Zhan! I know I made you angry, but there are better ways to get your vengeance!

[And with that, he breaks what’s left of the heavy atmosphere by laughing. It’s absurd to think that Lan Zhan would have dunked him underwater intentionally.]

( Ah, his prey is thrashing, nobly attempting to shrug off his captor. Poor unfortunate fool. Once Lan Wangji's arms, bolstered by the strength of the Gusu Lan, have encircled him, there is no hope for Wei Ying's fate.

Not until Hanguang-Jun, eternally merciful, brings them both up, heads above water, Wei Ying still pinned in place. He may breathe to avoid said regrettable drowning, but he will receive no other mercies. He has not earned them. )

Not Lan Zhan. ( Careful, slow, with a wet mouth. ) A lake monster.

( It's perhaps the merit of their many nights of creative love-making, during which they embellish play with fiction, that he can muster this without breaking character. Without so much as a finch.

Gently, he reaches in to walk their mouths together, apparently a tame water creature of Yunmeng. Whatever hurts he has caused Wei Ying in the past few exchanges, this is his apology. )

Surrender.

[His eyebrows raise when Lan Zhan speaks, the side of his mouth quirking upwards in equal parts amusement and fondness. He struggles again, not trying terribly hard to push Lan Zhan away from him. He can’t help but think Lan Zhan wants to seduce him again, but how could he possibly escape from such a fierce creature.]

A lake monster, hmm? I’m just a young woman collecting lotus seed pods.

[He “pushes” Lan Zhan away only to surrender to his kiss a short moment after. He sighs through his nose and throws his arms around Lan Zhan’s shoulders, looking him in the eye, nose-to-nose.

And he can’t stay mad at Lan Zhan when he’s so genuine and affectionate like this. They’ll both live with the consequence of distance when he takes up the offer to travel to Jinlintai alone. They shouldn’t have to be divided more than that.]

What am I surrendering for? Are you such a lazy lake monster that you don’t want to put in the work to make me beg to surrender?

( There is a beauty to the ease with which Wei Ying surrenders to their play, an uncomplicated gladness that nearly brings Lan Wangji's heart to a burst, that threatens to ruin him. He loves this man so much, it hurts, it hurts.

So he must kiss him, again and again, until that ache's fled. Must kiss him until Wei Ying forgets his own game and submits to the inevitability of Lan Wangji's affection, with all sincerity.

As a woman collecting lotus seed pods. As the Yiling Patriarch. As Wei Ying, Lan Wangji's Wei Ying, his soulmate. )

Shall kiss you until you surrender. ( He offers out, as if any halfway decent monster would attempt a compromise. Then, in a last half-hearted attempt at intimidation, he fastens his arms around Wei Ying, brings their mouths together, and dives them both beneath the waterline for a hungering kiss, bringing them up for air and releasing Wei Ying's mouth heartbeats after. )

Do you, yet?

[It’s too easy to want to surrender to each kiss upon his lips. Again and again until he’s starting to go breathless and only then does Lan Zhan pull them under. He holds his feeble breath, heart hammering in his chest as he puts his whole trust in Lan Zhan to pull them back up before he aches for breath.

He licks his lips after they surface, glancing down at Lan Zhan’s mouth. He isn’t finished kissing yet, so he closes the distance between them and kisses him again and again until the world shrinks down to the space between them.]

What do you claim if I surrender to you now?

[He licks the wetness from his own lips and hangs onto Lan Zhan’s shoulders. If there’s anyone he trusts to be able to hold him up even when they’re treading water, it’s Lan Zhan.]

I can’t surrender if I don’t know what it means to.

( What can he claim? What else is there for Wei Ying to give? He has surrendered so much of himself for a world undeserving. Offers more still. It aches Lan Wangji to ever consider wresting it with his two hands —

And so he treats Wei Ying's offer with the amused impunity it deserves. Tipping his head back to keep his lover plainly in focus, drinking the look of him, his presence. Ah. What will he claim, what will he claim...?

Another kiss, to start, a mockery of itself, too faint for words. Still. )

Wei Ying will attend me for the rest of my day. ( Like a spoiled thing, offered feed and drink, his clothes presented, his hair combed — for all Wei Ying is painfully inadequate at most of these tasks. )

[Expecting Lan Zhan’s answer will be more adult in nature, he’s surprised to hear his answer. Still, it’s something he can do to extend their little game, so he’s happy with it. He closes the distance between them again and rests his chin on Lan Zhan’s shoulder, just wanting to be close for a few moments after their spat.]

I’ll attend you today and any other day you want me to.

[Even if he will not meet Lan standards no matter how hard he tries. He’s just not patient enough.]

Are you still a lake monster or are you my husband?

[He squeezes Lan Zhan tightly before he moves back to look at him again. He’s smiling still, just feeling grateful that their disagreements aren’t enough to damage their love for each other. He’s not going to harbor resentment just because Lan Zhan doesn’t want to visit Jin Ling with him. He’s not being told he can’t go.]

( Like this, embracing and latching onto Lan Wangji, half floating and half perched, Wei Ying is scantly more difficult to bear than a child — barely negotiating his balance, bravely holding on. Lan Wangji does his part to sustain them above water, neatly paddling.

Then, when his husband puts him before the choice, he huffs — a wet, far too fond sound — before pronouncing at long last: )

Wei Ying's affection has tamed me into Lan Zhan once more.

( All hail the powers of one true love, which no man can presume to question, let alone take on. His smile is a crippled, faint thing, waning when Wei Ying looks up. He can never betray himself with his easy adoration. No, no. It must be a secret of the highest order. Then, echoing Wei Ying: )

Are you still a maid collecting lotus seed pods, or my spouse?

[He laughs easily, almost missing the last hint of a smile leaving Lan Zhan’s lips. His husband’s secret is safe with him, in so far that he won’t mention it.]

I’m the wife of the second son of Gusu Lan, so if you’re Lan Zhan, then I suppose that makes me your spouse. [His eyes glance down as he talks and he grins again.] You’re dressed like a local! It’s a good look on you.

[It’s an attractive image to see Lan Zhan’s chest and shoulders bared for only him to enjoy. Not that he gets jealous about other people taking in how sexy his husband is. The more people see how attractive Lan Zhan is, the more they’ll be impressed that he’s managed to catch him. ]

Hey Lan Zhan, you’re only wearing one layer aren’t you? White, too. Your trousers won’t leave anything to the imagination. You’ll let me see, won’t you?

( Their game ended within heartbeats of its start, and still Lan Wangji feels rare contentment, at ease with his husband's natural instinct to play. To put them both at ease. He reaches out, hand drawing over Wei Ying's forehead, pushing the wet of his hair from straddling his forehead, weed-like and claiming —

Until his lover speaks his truth again, and Lan Wangji is forced to face him, slowly but surely blinking away the start of mean stupor. Then, muttering, he begins to slowly descend into water, still staring at Wei Ying, daring him to intervene as Lan Wangji plunges into the nethers.

This world is a cruel and vicious place and Lan Wangji wishes no more to do with it. )

Shameless.

Lan Zhan! I wanted to see more of you, not less!

[But he’s still laughing and orbiting close by his sinking husband. He reaches out to pat the top of Lan Zhan’s head. He could pull Lan Zhan out of the water - or more like pull himself down to where Lan Zhan is hovering - but he chooses to sink down in the water to meet him face to face instead.]

You look good, Lan Zhan. Really good. Delicious. Besides, it’s just you and me here, so there’s no need to be shy.

[He tries to move closer to Lan Zhan again, just to see if Lan Zhan pulls further away or if he welcomes his presence. Either way, he keeps going.]

You’re pretty cute when you’re embarrassed, Lan Zhan. Want me to cover my eyes so you can stop hiding? [Which he would absolutely peek through anyway.] Or, you can swim with me some more. I can take the rest of my clothes off if it’ll make you feel better.

( Good. Delicious. Empty words, from someone so diabolically beautiful, so unquestionably, unparalleled in his charm. But Lan Wangji has learned to accept it with rare elegance, to take Wei Ying's kindness in both hands and let it warm his heart in days of cold and nights of anger, when he traverses Gusu Lan on assignment and has been long parted from his family.

Wei Ying's come too close, and they drift near the lip of water. Lan Wangji cannot endanger him so. Gently, he starts to lift his head, presenting a downcast gaze, a sullen mouth. A childish apparition, perhaps — but then, his lover cannot have expected better. )

Make us equal, then. ( As if removing Wei Ying's cloth will extirpate Lan Wangji's shame. As if the twain are bound. ) Would wish to see the swimming styles of Yunmeng.

( It has, after all, a reputation for proficiency only rivaled by the archery of Lotus Pier. )

[His smile changes when Lan Zhan starts to emerge, the sharpness of his humor replaced with something softer. If Lan Zhan’s acting like this, he must be in a good mood in spite of the hurdle in their conversation.]

You’re handsome even when you’re pouting. There’s no way I’d be able to deny you anything.

[He peels off what little he’d still been wearing and wads the silk into a ball between his hands that he throws back towards their campsite.]

You know, I haven’t swam completely nude since before puberty. You’re a bad influence on me, Lan Zhan.

[Yet he’s completely relaxed in his skin. There’s no one else around and even if there were, he doesn’t particularly care. It’s not like Lan Zhan seemed to mind when they were having a tumble earlier.]

There are a few ways. It depends on if you’re swimming for speed or for leisure or for some other reason. I could demonstrate for you. How do you want me?

Moaning and at ease.

( This, fast and unblinking, with the nonchalant air of a sinisterly veteran seducer of maidens and pretty young things, and not the stiff sobriety of Hanguang-Jun. Truly, will wonders never cease.

Yet, watching Wei Ying — only daring to inch a few arm strokes closer — he understands that his husband is keen to demonstrate his talents, for all he suspects Wei Ying's new body may no longer prove as adept at implementing the Yunmeng swimming style. No matter. He affords his lover a widening berth, taking umbrage in the shallows, so that Wei Ying might have sufficient space for his display.

Then, carefully: ) Leisure. As Wei Ying likely swam in his youth.

[They’ve been married for over two years, but Lan Zhan somehow manages to shock and embarrass him with just a few words. Somehow it’s the perfect mix of unexpected and sincere.]

Lan Zhan! It’s not fair. You always know how to get a reaction out of me now.

[But he’s not actually upset by it. It’s too funny for him to be bothered. Back when they were younger, he was the one who could always tease Lan Zhan with a straight face. Now, he doesn’t think he’d be any match for his husband. Lan Zhan’s just too good at keeping a neutral face.

He dips his head under the water just to cool his burning cheeks. He wouldn’t mind giving Lan Zhan exactly what he wants, but they don’t need to rush things. Surely, his husband won’t be satiated for too long.]

Leisure, huh? A lot of that is floating more than swimming. Here, what about this? [He takes the time to stretch out his arms and legs briefly. When he’s done, he looks at Lan Zhan for a moment before grinning and diving under the water. He stays underwater as he navigates his way to the deeper water near the fissure they’d come through before surfacing again.]

Did you get a good look? When we swim for fun, we can do whatever works best. I was always lean and tall, so my strokes were longer before. It feels like I have to work harder for the result I’m looking for.

( Leisure, says Wei Ying, and it's more beautiful than indolence has a right to be, in practice. He does not sprawl, but gracefully positions his body to float in perfectly coordinated, elegant repose. Lan Wangji is enraptured.

...Lan Wangji, he himself admits, is at times enraptured when he watches his husband breathe. But there are degrees to his worship, and now he feels at the peak of his reverence, soft-eyed and fond and finally crossing the water at a solid pace to reach his lover again.

Look, but don't touch. A hard prerogative, with the only inklings of strain visible in Wei Ying's body arising from clear rigidity, where Lan Wangji took advantage of him earlier. Now, he compensates, hands soft when they encircle Wei Ying's shoulders, when they pat down his flank and stop dangerously territorial underwater, on the roundness of his plump ass. )

My look could have been better.

[He swims closer to Lan Zhan, inviting him without words to hold him and he’s pleased that it’s exactly what Lan Zhan must have had on his mind, too. He likes being touched, especially when it’s Lan Zhan doing the touching.

His laughter is airy and amused as he looks at his husband. Their legs are still treading water despite their proximity to each other. Knees slide past knees and their hips bump close together suggestively.]

It seems like Lan-er-gege wants to do more than just look.

[His hands find purchase on Lan Zhan’s chest and shoulders, fingertips brushing across scarred skin there. He doesn’t mind, nor does he react to it. The only thing he does is hope that Lan Zhan isn’t feeling self-conscious about it today.]

Should I demonstrate it again for you?

[He hovers close, tilting his head in to brush the tip of his nose against Lan Zhan’s. They’re close enough to kiss like this, so he takes the extra step to press his lips against Lan Zhan’s. It’s just a short, teasing thing.]

Or maybe you have another idea of what we can do to pass the time.

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I'm so sorry, idk what happened to this notif!

You’re fine. I’m glad you’re okay!

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