a home.
They fall together, like fresh snow off the mountaintop: first, in measured, patient, cultivating reunion after an extended dinner at their inn. Then, with passion. Then, syrupy and slow, with morning. In a rare, turn, after bathing, Lan Wangji denies himself the rigors and discipline of morning and coaxes them back abed, to hold his lover throughout his rest near sunrise, until halfway to midday.
He stirs them, inevitably, when the blinding bright white of the day overwhelms, and they must set for the road to make good pace to Cloud Recesses while still enjoying their stroll. They arrive, meandering, in the depths of a trickling, golden afternoon, when much of the clan is distracted with the latest lecture of a visiting hermit — they say, an aspiring immortal — and neither Uncle nor Sizhui can be politely parted from his wisdom. First, a brief stop with Liang. Secondly, for Lan Wangji, yet slowed by his fading wounds and bruises, to test the recovery of his disciples.
Lastly, facing the dregs of an afternoon together with no duties, no assignments, no occupation — curiosity wins over. With the packed necessities of a quick meal in his qiankun pouch, he steers Wei Ying to walk the winding, if peaceful path toward the peripheral territories, past the liminal, isolated quietude of the jingshi and into the periphery of Lan Wangji's inherited grounds.
A short walk, yet they may have breached the threshold of a brave new world. He had chosen the space for its proximity to river water, cunning, lively spikes of rice stabbing the field, alongside feral flowers. Already, the builders and architects have marked a path to make a road, but they have yet to set down wood or stone for steps. These, he knows, are still young days for their home, Wei Ying's house, rising on strong, sprawling bones that stretch out over a considerable territory: a number of rooms, some superfluous, including an isolated study for Wei Ying's pleasure and a music chamber. A large kitchen, for all much of the house yet misses its roof. A segment for the archery post Lan Wangji had bidden. The house, designed to host an inner garden, even boasts the allocated space for a pond men had been digging until mere hours prior, when their toil ended.
"To grow lotus," he murmurs, nodding ahead where the pond is yet to glisten and crest, where its waters are short of rising. And he does not ask, Do you like it, what it can be? But his gaze flickers between Wei Ying's face and the home in desperate, hungry study.

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But it does not matter, his private hesitations deserted as Wei Ying's body opens to him, and he may study the battered puffiness of the rim. No tears, at least. They were fortunate.
"Some of the soothing salve remains." Wei Ying required far more attention in the young days of their coupling, when his frailty and Lan Wangji's enthusiasm combined into wounding. He will recover the balm, when they return to bed and apply it generously, no matter the intent stupefaction of the Lan healer, when he must request more.
For now, he sits Wei Ying on the opposite side of the tub, so they might each bask and sprawl in warmth without the pricklings of overstimulation. So often, in repose, Wei Ying resembles a beautiful doll — his ghostly pallor now startled by the beastly prints of Lan Wangji's bite.
His gaze sharpens, narrows on the proof. "...the bites. I apologise. Perhaps, as with slaps."
Not something to explore again in bedplay.
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He thinks to argue against the necessity of using the balm, but it would make Lan Zhan feel better if he bears the embarrassment of accepting healing after their bed play. “You’re worrying too much,” he teases, taking the hand that isn’t inspecting him and bringing it to his lips to kiss. “But we can use some of that salve. It’s been a while since we needed it.”
He leans back against the tub and yawns widely. He could fall asleep just like this feeling warm and sated. Tomorrow, they’ll have to dual cultivate because of their newly agreed on schedule, but tonight is theirs to enjoy without meditation. “Nibbling is okay, just don’t try to take a chunk out me next time, okay?” He knows that Lan Zhan sometimes resorts to biting when he’s feeling overwhelmed. Sex can be overwhelming at times.
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Perhaps it should not be so. He dwindles, calling his hand back, binding his fingers among Wei Ying's own. Tugging, once. Again.
"It is... difficult to not treat you gently, within our limitations," he admits. Wei Ying does not care for scratching or bites. Lan Wangji could not bear to lash or scratch him. They both have no appetite for tearing Wei Ying through penetration. Their options whittle down to hard grabs, pulls of Wei Ying's hair, tempered chokeholds.
But he is nothing if not studious. "Tell me more of what would please you."
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He squeezes Lan Zhan’s hand lightly before relaxing. Now that his inspection’s over, he sits with his back against the tub wall. He situates his legs around where Lan Zhan’s already claimed territory for his longer limbs.
“As long as we both feel satisfied at the end, I’m happy. We’re always talking about what I want when we sleep together. What do you want? If you could do it any way with my enthusiastic consent, what would it be like?”
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Does he like it better when they are gentle, loving, sweet? He thinks, at the end of the day, his tolerance for intentionally manhandling Wei Ying is slimmer, constricted by private calculations over his...
...frailty. Ah.
"Do I often treat you as if fragile?" In truth, in retrospect, he can identify certain instances. Inadvertent, but perhaps... "Do I undermine you?"
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“Sometimes,” he admits. “I know I don’t have accelerated healing when I’m low on qi, but I’m still pretty hardy. Maybe not like I used to be, but I’m not fragile. I can handle some pain and I like it sometimes, too. I want you to feel confident in the ways you touch me. If that means being gentle, then be gentle. If you like to be more rough, then trust me to be able to handle it during and after. I’m not going to break.”
He rubs his thumb over Lan Zhan’s knuckles, smiling at him encouragingly. “I love you so much, Lan Zhan. You deserve to have a say in how we sleep together, too. It would make me happy to know that I’m giving you what you need.”
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His smile tickles the corners of his mouth, and he leans in all at once to steal a kiss at the edge of Wei Ying's lips. Then, he falls back and beholds him, considers.
The second gift he may give, he has understood also, is this: not to rush himself, when gifting Wei Ying his answer. To be measured, patient, calm.
"I do not answer well to the thought of losing you." A pause, still weighing his words, finding them flimsy, flighty, lacking. "Whether to death or to another man."
The first manifests as paranoia, an all-consuming paralysis. The second as jealousy, prone to malice and hurt. "I am... not adverse to rough play. I initiate it through negligence. Seldom... with intent to harm."
An excess of enthusiasm may be no better, but it differs in the root of the purpose. In the heart of the deed. "At times, Wei Ying does not appear to request pain, but hurt."
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He keeps Lan Zhan’s hand in his and runs his other hand over the surface of the water for the sake of keeping himself quiet while Lan Zhan formulates his full answer.
“You mean like the choking thing?” He asks, just to make sure he’s understanding what Lan Zhan means with the difference between pain and hurt. “I can see your point. You don’t want to do anything that would put me in danger or leave scars either externally or… mentally?”
He wiggles his toes under Lan Zhan’s legs and he brings his husband’s hand up for a few more little kisses. “I think sometimes I feel like I should be punished. I know you don’t feel like I should be. I’m not really sure where it stems from, either. I just know that I’ll be safe with you and I can get it out of my system.”
There was something else Lan Zhan brought up, too. It takes him a moment to remember. “You’re stuck with me, Lan Zhan. I don’t care about anyone else,” which is an exaggeration. He cares about his family, obviously. “I just want to spend my whole extended second life with you.”
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It will be done, all of it. But perhaps more readily and willingly, if they understand each other well. If, playfully pressing down to briefly entrap Wei Ying's ticklish toes beneath his leg, before quietly releasing them, he delves into the matter.
"Do not encourage my failings," he murmurs, because what Wei Ying wishes to soothe may easily stoke into a storm, and they have met the bruising colours of his jealousy, they know it ugly and dark. Lan Wangji's possessiveness and selfish ownership is — ...at best, unfortunate.
And at worst... he carries on, forcing his body to stretch out and fill the tub, so that he might release gathering tension. "Is it the pain you desire or the surrender of control? Within punishment."
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“It’s the control thing,” he says after giving it a few moments’ thought. When it comes down to it, he doesn’t particularly like physical pain, but it doesn’t bother him much either. What he does like is the idea of Lan Zhan bare of his restraints, where trust between them would be complete and unshakable.
“I like you to pull my hair and tie me up. I always assumed pain would be a part of it.” Which may have been born of certain reading materials he’d been exposed to when he was younger. “Me letting go of control is like you taking off your ribbon. Letting myself give up control is something I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing in front of anyone else.”
He moves around to accommodate Lan Zhan’s longer legs. He ends up mostly between Lan Zhan’s legs with just his feet on either side of Lan Zhan’s hips. “Hey, Lan Zhan? What did you mean by encouraging your failings?”
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And so he nods, hands reaching on instinct to preserve and deepen their proximity, rubbing Wei Ying's ankles, the lower part of his calves. He dips in, suddenly, shifting to lean and hover over Wei Ying's prone form, careful to hold himself above and introduce no pressure. Their noses collide, shift. He nuzzles Wei Ying's throat, scattering a rain of apologetic kisses where his neck carries the marks of Lan Wangji's mouth.
"I want you." This should not surprise Wei Ying or overwhelm Lan Wangji. A simple, foregone conclusion, their interest both shared and unequivocal. And yet. "Once, Wei Ying chose all others before me. Even death."
Unknowing, driven to despair and resort. A last resort, perhaps even incidental. He did not beg the ripping, the clawing, the — ...Lan Wangji's nuzzling intensifies fleetingly.
"It was his right. Yet...a part of me denies him the chance of repetition. He cannot belong to another. I refuse." Softer, ripped from him. "At times, I punish him for entertaining the possibility."
Even in jest.
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“I want you too,” he says. He means it generally, though it never takes much for him to become aroused when it comes to his lover. He lifts his arms up to encircle Lan Zhan’s upper back. And then he listens, stroking his husband’s skin in what he hopes is a comforting and encouraging gesture.
“I was wrong,” he says with a shallow shake of his head. “I’m really stupid sometimes.” He’s mentioned before how he didn’t know Lan Zhan loved him, but he doesn’t bring it up now. It would only sound like an excuse if he keeps on saying the same things. He wishes he could remember more from the days leading up to his death. All he has are fleeting images here and there and what Lan Xichen had told him in the Guanyin Temple. He… hadn’t been in a good place back then. Between grief, defeat, despair, and the build up of resentment energy, most of what he remembers is the ghosts weighing heavily on his shoulders.
He lets Lan Zhan speak, rubbing small circles on his back as he listens. Only when he’s sure Lan Zhan’s done speaking does he answer. “I don’t want anyone else. I never wanted anyone before Lan Zhan and I wouldn’t want someone else. My soul was split in two and it’s only whole when I’m with you. It’s a good thing I never consider anyone else then.”
He still doesn’t realize the reasons Lan Zhan had bitten him hard earlier even though he has all the pieces at his disposal.
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"Words do not suffice. I dishonour you and forget them." He gives in to doubt, to anger, to the animal territoriality that manifests now as reddened marks on Wei Ying's throat. He nuzzles them indiscreetly.
"Better we do not speak of another in bedplay. Or only do so, knowing." If Wei Ying... enjoys the bestial aspects of his husband, let him at least know what he invites.
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Oh! Lan Zhan had been jealous during their bed play. That clarifies things for him and he starts to laugh. “I didn’t know you’d be jealous of someone who doesn’t exist,” he admits. So that’s what Lan Zhan’s doing rooting around against his throat. “I’ll try to remember, okay? Sorry for pissing you off while we were sleeping together tonight.”
He tries to shift under his husband’s weight, but it’s too cramped. “Maybe we should just be ourselves in bed,” he suggests, “Since I’d never cheat on you or look at another person that way, I wouldn’t have to rely on remembering.”
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In the end, they must part, no matter Lan Wangji's formidable appetite to become one with his husband. This, too, he understands, is a residual part of his readiness to belong, to absorb, to never again relinquish.
But the heat of their bath begins to waft claustrophobically, Wei Ying's skin looks on the cusp of pruning. Even Lan Wangji, lover of cleansing, begins to feel burdened by the weight of stifling waters. For now, he retreats, finally drawing to his feet with a seismic shift of rippling in the bathtub. He holds out his hand to take Wei Ying up, also.
"Wei Ying only asks to be relieved of his duties for a few moments in bedplay." Of the responsibilities, the memories that come with his identity. His need understood and known. "We cannot deny him, only for my failings. Will signal him to stop, when jealousy strikes."
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He’s just about to suggest that they move back to the bed to continue cuddling when Lan Zhan takes the initiative. He takes his husband’s hand and uses his support to stand up. Instead of reaching for something to dry off with, he wraps his arms around Lan Zhan’s middle and rests his cheek against his chest. “I love you so much,” he sighs and squeezes him. He somehow refrains from telling him that he thinks it’s cute when he gets jealous.
“Does Lan Zhan like it when I play as other people in bed? That way he can have all sorts of different flavors of his husband,” he looks up at him and grins. “I really don’t mind being me. I have the best husband a guy could ask for and I know you wouldn’t really take advantage of some backwater maiden.” And it’s not like his memories go anywhere when he’s pretending to be a virgin.
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"I am untroubled by Wei Ying's theatrics." In truth, at times they stimulate him, far too endeared with Wei Ying's enthusiasm for whatever latest part he has concocted for himself. "He appears to find them freeing. An accessory to bed play."
An interesting, relatively modest way of acknowledging Wei Ying seems stimulated and infinitely more earnest when he pretends to be a different person, particularly when his day has overcome him. Whilst speaking, he begins to collect their discarded silks, setting them aside for later laundering when disciples drop by to collect the buckets that carried bathing water, treys and defiled goods, come morning. Instead, he selects two layers of silk for his person, and a dark single one for Wei Ying, offering them out.
"If you wish my preferences: I enjoy to kiss you." No matter how rough or aloof their play, he cannot skip that part of his lovemaking.
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“As long as Lan Zhan doesn’t mind, we can keep playing around like usual,” he agrees. Sometimes he just wants to be taken advantage of and other times he just wants to forget the stresses of the day without opening himself to conversing about them. He’s relieved that Lan Zhan doesn’t seem to mind.
He only lets Lan Zhan go when they need to don their night robes. He does so but only after another squeeze. It’s getting close to Lan Zhan’s bedtime, but he wants to lie down with him and talk or cuddle for a little while until Lan Zhan is ready to fall asleep. He doesn’t have any plans for the rest of his evening before his own eventual sleeping, but that’s nothing new. Sometimes he just sits in the room with Lan Zhan to watch him sleep and other times he works on improving some of his own inventions or talismans.
“I like kissing, too,” he admits while he pulls his robe over his shoulders. “It doesn’t really make sense for a night time intruder, but we don’t have to worry about believability all the time. Since we both want to kiss, then I say we should just do it.”
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Then, carefully, he relinquishes Wei Ying, coaxing him back toward their bed, carefully wiped for any lingering signs of their previous lovemaking. Fleetingly, he considers wilting within and calling Wei Ying into his arms; instead, he sits unexpectedly, back to the wall and legs a rigid line — waving his lover down, so that his head might drift into Lan Wangji's lap.
It has been some time since anyone stroked Wei Ying's hair. Their young, perpetually spoiled infant has certainly created an appetite in everyone.
"Wei Ying." This, softer, testing the lines of their mutual trust. He will not enjoy the answer, yet knows, if he does not ask, it will haunt him. "If... our play on this night pleased you. Why suspend it before you reached completion?"
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He stops in front of the bed, slightly perplexed. Well, if Lan Zhan doesn’t want to lay down yet, he’s not going to complain. He crawls into the bed next to him and lays perpendicularly to him with his head on his husband’s thighs. He smiles to himself, shivering once when Lan Zhan first touches him and then relaxing immediately after.
“Hmm?” He touches the silk over his husband’s knees, smoothening the wrinkles that sitting caused. There. Pristine and perfect just like the man wearing the garment. “Oh that? I really wanted to kiss you,” he says with grin. “And I guess… since we had that argument earlier, it felt a little off. Was that bad?”
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Sweetheart. His soaring, boundless love.
"Also wanted to kiss Wei Ying." A different way of accepting his lover's interjection. It was not bad, could never be bad. There is between them a private, growing gentle understanding that indulgence is a thing they may permit themselves. That they live and breathe only for the next moment when they might come together again. How, then, could they begrudge kisses?
"As long as it was not —" A pause that snags, drags. "Disappointment." Over Lan Wangji's performance, his roughness, his numerous failures.
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“I like kissing Lan Zhan. I’m glad we’re going to start kissing while we’re playing around with consent in bed,” he admits. It really is the one thing he misses most when they’re doing a story like that. Now that he’s thinking about kissing, he wants to kiss Lan Zhan! But he wants to enjoy this affection, too. It’s tough being so thoroughly in love.
“Not disappointment. Were you worried about that?” He takes one of Lan Zhan’s hands and pulls it down to kiss. “You’re so adorable, Lan Zhan. I love you too much for something like that to get in the way of things. I just wanted to love you and feel loved by you with nothing between us for a little while.” He kisses the hand again before loosening his hold and giving his husband the choice of what he wants to do with his hands again. “Tonight was fun. Did you think so, too?”
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His hand stills over Wei Ying's hair, faintly remembering to revisit his husband's forehead with his mouth.
"I enjoyed it." Inevitable, primal. His body feels alive only in the wake of Wei Ying's generosity of sharing his body. "Yet I do not feel sated. Through no fault of Wei Ying's. There are times when one turn does not suffice. Or a second. A third."
It at once shames him to say and feeds his pride to know that he is so responsive to his husband's presence, so greedily desirous. That a quiet, low simmer lives in him, even after he achieved completion.
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“Oh?” He asks, grin turning a bit mischievous. “We should do something about that,” he suggests, pushing Lan Zhan’s hair behind his ear, resting his other hand on his own belly. “You’re so pretty, Lan Zhan. With your hair down and blushing like a new bride. Did you know your ears are always the first part of you that goes red? I wonder if it was like that when we were kids, too. Back when I was just your annoying crush. I probably just thought you were going red in anger.”
It feels good to know Lan Zhan wants him after they’ve already slept together once tonight. He doesn’t think Lan Zhan will get bored of him, but the reassurance is welcomed.
The angle isn’t great, but he touches the edge of one of Lan Zhan’s ears. The same one he’d just exposed. “How do you want me, husband?”
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Beneath Wei Ying's touch, he feels his ears begin to flush and fill already. He shakes his head, more to intercede than to shrug him off.
"Unnecessary, now." He has already availed himself indiscreetly of his husband's body, and Wei Ying will not sate him through sacrifice. "It is not... a hunger of the flesh."
That part of him is still tenderly quiescent, as quick to stir in answer to Wei Ying's passion as ever, but not presently starved for attention. His body is tense with the sort of crackling restlessness that grows silent, but not extinct.
"The need rises without reason. Fades likewise."
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